Hidden Doubts
by onceuponacriminalmind
Summary: Emily's fears about coming back to the BAU are starting to worry her. How will the team react when she comes back? Team fic!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Emily is getting ready for her first day back at the BAU and doubts of whether the team will accept her back are beginning to surface.**

**This is my first fanfiction ever, hope you enjoy! I got into the show Criminal Minds and saw the 7****th**** season promo, and I wanted to give my take on what could play out. Oh and I don't own Criminal Minds by any means.**

Emily was running around trying to remember where she had put her black turtleneck in her apartment. Well her _new_ apartment. To be honest everything was in disarray since she hadn't had time to fully move in after coming back from Paris. It seemed like everything had happened in a blur, yet the last 6 months had felt like the longest she'd ever known.

"_Damn it, I'm going to be late!"_ she thought as she rummaged through some more boxes she found in the back of the closet. It was hard for Emily to believe that she was getting ready for work. To go back to her job at the BAU after spending those months in isolation, with no contact with her friends and family, to have them think she had died. Her fight with Doyle had nearly killed her, but leaving without being able to say goodbye and to explain to her team had hurt her more than imaginable.

"Ahh yes! Here we go. Of course it had to be in the last box" she exclaimed in triumph just as her cell phone began to sound. She looked down at the call display and smiled as she saw who was calling.

"Hey JJ, I'm planning on being there at 9:00, is that okay?" Emily asked with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Don't worry Em, it's fine! I just wanted to call you to see how you were doing. This is your first day of work in how long? And by the way, you might want to take a few deep breaths; I can hear your voice shaking over the phone." JJ laughed at the last part. She knew today was going to be a very big deal. People never reawake from the "dead", even in the FBI career field and she wanted to put Emily at ease as much as she could.

"I guess there's no hiding anything from you anymore now that you've become a profiler huh? I just never thought this day would come you know? I mean, how would you feel if someone you thought was dead suddenly reappeared in your life? What if the board says I'm too much of a risk? What if Reid and Morgan can't bear to forgive me?... OH GOD! What if Garcia refuses to even speak to me? I can't d-"

"EMILY! STOP!" JJ interrupted. "Emily listen to me. I'm not saying things aren't going to be hard, but you have to trust me when I say that the team will be better with you by our side okay?"

"I'm sorry Jay. I'm just so-I don't even know what this feeling is! I'm a stranger in my own life!" By this point Emily was now trying to locate her black boots from another pile of boxes in her bedroom. She took a deep breath as she sat down on the bed. "You know what? I've got to find some stuff right now around the house…I'll see you later?"

"Sure, we'll be talking to the rest of the team before you get there, so there's no rush. See you later." As JJ hung up, she knew Emily had so much more to get off her chest, but her tone was one of "leave it alone". After everything her friend had been through, she would be facing more in the days to come and JJ didn't want to push it. Quickly throwing a few files together and saying goodbye to Will and Henry, JJ made her way to the BAU to make the reveal to her friends that Emily Prentiss was alive.

Sitting in silence for a few moments after hanging up the phone, Emily began to resume her search for her shoes, hating the way the silence reminded her of the months alone she spent in hiding. What were the chances that JJ was right? Could the team really ever forgive her for all the lies and deceit she had done? Settling with a pair of other boots, Emily shoved her feet into them and made her way out of her bedroom. Eyeing the newspaper as she walked across the kitchen, Emily stopped and sat to skim the headlines while she wrapped her dark hair into a ponytail.

"Explosion in Paris Warehouse Kills 10" she read as she chuckled inwardly. It was a nice cover up for what had really happened the last week. There were few details: just an abandoned warehouse that was being used as a drug lab that had exploded, killing those who were inside. Fire crews and response teams had been unable to save anyone, but they suspected that something had caught fire and simply exploded sending the old warehouse into a raging inferno, destroying all evidence. Of course, there had been no drugs. Just a tactical team that included Emily Prentiss and CIA members that were taking care of some arms dealers, one who a certain brunette had a score to settle with. She recalled how she had told them Doyle was off limits, how he was hers to take out and no one else.

"_Prentiss, this is Darwin. You're clear to move in. I repeat MOVE IN!" the intense whisper came through on her earpiece. "Take the southwest entrance, all obstacles have been taken out. Target is in the far right room." Sweat dripped down her brow as she shifted her gun in her hand to open the large steel door. There were at least 50 ops members who were watching over her, but she knew this was going to end one on one and this time, either she or Doyle would end up dead. Rounding the corner into a room in the dark warehouse, Emily whipped her gun around in surveillance. Suddenly she heard a sound behind her and she rounded about once again to find a rat scurry across the hall._

"_Hello Lauren. Took you long enough." Doyle's voice sounded from within the room in a calm tone. A nagging familiar chill ran its way down Emily's spine as she turned around to face him, still holding her glock in front of her. "I see that stake didn't impair your abilities all too much. Tell me, did they have the same luck with that little clover of yours?" he sneered with a gleam in his eye._

_Prentiss' stare narrowed in to focus on the figure in the dark. Her blood began to boil as Doyle mentioned the clover. It was hers forever; something that would remind her of the actions and shame she had committed all those years ago. "Wouldn't you like to know? And I see my efforts DID impair your ability to locate your son. I told you I beat you Ian." She spat out._

"_Beat me did you?" Ian slowly began to walk towards Emily out from the darkness and into the moonlight that was shining through the window. She leveled her gun as he chuckled once more, "Hmm, I walked away 6 months ago with the information that my son was alive. You on the otherhand, well, how are your beloved teammates? Oh right. They think you're dead." Doyle was trying to play where it hurt the most, and even though she was prepared for the insults, hearing those words still killed her inside. "Do you think even if you get out of here, that the great Agent Hotchner will be able to bring you back? That your friend JJ will drop everything for you once again? Or how about Rossi? You abandoned them all like a coward. I don't think Spencer Reid and Penelope will ever look to you for advice again. And how will your partner Morgan feel Lauren? You can't be partners with someone you don't trust-"_

"_You know what Ian? Screw you! You can go to hell!" Emily screamed with intensity. Doyle knew just how to toy with her mind, to bring up all her insecurities she had feared about over the past few months. "Lauren Reynolds died a long time ago. You never knew me."_

"_You're right," he whispered just loud enough for her to hear, "I once knew a girl that I feel in love with, just to find out she was a lying bitch. She died a long time ago. So tonight, I guess it will be Emily Prentiss that will die!" With a flick of his wrist, Doyle produced a small "one shot" gun at his hand and quickly fired at Emily. She of course, was prepared for this and managed to jump out of the way and miss the bullet, rolling onto the concrete floor and scraping the side of her face. Quickly aiming her gun, she turned around to find Ian running out of the room having discarded his gun._

"_No, not again you bastard," she thought as she swiped the blood with her sleeve off of her face and took off after him. A voice sounded over her earpiece, as she ran down the deserted hall, "Prentiss, what's your 20? Repeat? Shots heard. Sending in backup!" Emily only had a few moments before her chances to personally end Doyle were foiled. As much as she wanted Doyle dead, she wanted to be the one to do it. Panting with labored breaths, Emily walked into yet another room strewn with metal chairs and glass on the floor. She was about to turn around when she felt a sharp WHACK on her backside, throwing her forwards, sliding into the shards of glass, cutting up her arms and causing her gun to slide out of her reach. Within an instant, Doyle was on top of her throwing punches with intent to kill. Emily was getting weaker with every connection to her face and ribs. CRACK-another rib had broke, causing the pain to sear through her like a knife. Desperately trying to reach her gun, she could hear Doyle's voice over the blinding pain and sounds of punches in her ears._

"_This is for Declan! Once I'm finished with you, I'm going to find my son, and you won't ever come between me and my family ever again!" Emily could feel the cool metal at her fingertips, if she could just scoot a little farther as she took her beating. Just a bit further…_

"_No Ian," she rasped hoarsely, "This is for Declan, and you're never going to come between me and my TEAM ever again!" Emily wrapped her hand around the gun, swinging it in front of her; she fired, sending a bullet square into the forehead of Ian Doyle._

The warehouse incident had been merely a week ago. She had purchased an apartment and had contact with JJ, who had informed Hotch of the situation. Now it was time to face the rest of the team. As Emily put the newspaper down and rose from the kitchen table, she looked at the clock which read 8:30 am. Grabbing her purse and quickly setting the house alarm, she braced herself for the next few hours. She had succeeded in ridding Doyle of her life, but his questions about the team on whether she would be accepted back into their lives still weighed heavily. What if Doyle had been right? Could the team ever trust her after what she had done?

**Wow, I never knew how hard writing this stuff was! Major credit to all those who have done this a long time! I hope you enjoyed this. I'm planning on making this story a few chapters. Of course, if it turns out this sucks, I'll have to see whether I should continue :P I appreciate any reviews! If there's a next chapter, it would be the reveal and the team's reaction. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2! Hope you all enjoy it :D And I don't own Criminal Minds unfortunately. This is just the team coming in for the day unknowing what is to come.**

"Hey Baby Girl, how is my sweet thang doing this mornin'?" Morgan asked as he sauntered into the conference room with his go bag slung across his body. They had just gotten back the night before at about midnight from a case, but JJ had called in and Morgan had been at this job long enough to just roll with the punches. "Hey! Baby Girl? What's going through that pretty little head of yours?" Garcia hadn't replied back and Morgan knew his girl well enough to know something was wrong. She was just sitting there at the table holding her hands together as she jerked her head up to acknowledge Derek.

"Something's wrong Derek." Derek? She never called him Derek. Something was wrong. "Something is just off…I can feel it. JJ sounded stressed when she called me in and that means it's probably really bad. I never get called to the conference room anymore since she returned! I'm usually left alone to my comfort lair where I can keep tabs on my pretties! You don't think someone's leaving do you?" Garcia was beginning to ramble herself in circles as Morgan put down his go bag, walked over and sat beside her wrapping her into a warm and comforting hug.

"Listen to me Penelope," he started in a reassuring tone, "No one is leaving alright? I'm here, you're here, JJ's here; and I passed pretty boy in the hall." Derek chuckled trying to put the girl before him at ease. He continued, "Rossi and Hotch are in the break room grabbing some coffee. We may have lost Seaver, but you know she's better off and happy in the New York office. I promise you things are okay."

'_Damn this chocolate God,'_ thought Garcia. "Derek Morgan, how is it you can make everything sound ok? It must have something to do with that sexy voice of yours." Garcia smiled at her words and relaxed in her chair. Her instincts were never usually wrong, but that didn't mean they couldn't be momentarily forgotten.

"Anytime girlie," replied Morgan as he got back up just as Reid, and Rossi entered the room. Reid quickly took off his side bag and plopped into the chair opposite Garcia, running his hands through his hair showing his exhaustion. Rossi was dressed in a tweed suit looking formal as usual, but by the stubble on his face, everyone knew he was just as tired as the rest.

"Yeah, I _definitely_ see you people way too much. I think I'm going to die from exhaustion." Rossi laughed as he sipped his coffee.

"You know, statistically, humans are said to be able to die if they go for as little as 4-5 days without sleeping. It can actual-"

"REID!" The others had to interrupt before he began another list of facts from the encyclopedia known as his brain. Morgan smirked as he saw Reid slink down into his seat as Rossi put his face in his palms. "Rossi? Any idea what's going on?" Morgan directed at the older agent. He was just as curious as Garcia was, but he wouldn't let his Baby Girl know it.

"No idea kid. Maybe a new member?" he suggested. Being the longest running agent in the team, David Rossi had been through his share of new agents coming and going. "JJ's back, but now Seaver's gone. And she only joined the team officially after…" Rossi immediately regretted his choice of words as soon as they slipped out. He watched as his teammates went silent, the colour dropping from their faces like all the other times whenever someone mentioned her. Six months, and it still stung. Seaver had been a great addition to the team, but they all knew that deep down, even with JJ back, that something was missing. He cleared his throat and spoke again, "Maybe it has to do with Strauss."

Picking up that Rossi was trying to move the conversation along, Reid perked up, "Maybe it's a raise?" he asked hopefully.

"Huh, don't bet on it boy wonder," Garcia scoffed, "I guess we'll just have to wait till boss man gets in here."

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><p>"JJ, how do you want to proceed?" Aaron questioned as he looked at JJ with a stoic expression. Even at a time like this, especially at a time like this, Hotch knew this was not the right time to show any sort of grand emotion. Sometimes his lack of expression was a good thing, it could even help during interrogations, but it only put the blonde more on edge as she stood in her boss' office pacing in front of his desk.<p>

"She's really nervous Hotch. I don't blame her either. I think the best thing is just to go in and tell them. Hand them all copies of the file and explain the facts, point blank.

"So you want to go in and tell them before she arrives?" he questioned.

"They're going to have questions, and we're the only ones who can answer until Emily gets here; even then, I don't want to overwhelm her." JJ stopped pacing and looked directly at Hotch. "We have the meeting on Wednesday. That gives them less than two days to register all this."

"How is she?" he whispered with a genuine concern.

JJ paused before answering and took a deep breath. "She's nervous, but she's doing what she does best: compartmentalizing. You read her medical sheet; you know what Doyle did to her the first time. I don't think she'd be coming back after a second fight without some sort of injury; physical or emotional.

"And coming back to tell us she's alive could potentially add to the emotional injury," Hotch concluded. "We better get started if we're going to tell the rest of the team before she gets here." Aaron rose from his seat, gathering some papers and walking towards the door, holding it open for JJ. "JJ..." Hotch stalled. He had never been good with his emotions, and suddenly he wanted to tell the woman before him how much he appreciated having someone else in on the secret. She was not only a part of his team, but a friend, and for the last 6 months, a confidante.

"I know Hotch, I understand. Same goes for me." she smiled as she made eye contact with her boss. "Now let's go do this before Emily walks in and scares the daylights out of them."

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><p>By now, Morgan, Reid, Garcia, and Rossi were growing impatient and all four of them were pacing the carpet in the conference room.<p>

"Ok, ok, gettin' a raise does not take _this _long!" shouted Morgan. Every second that went by was just another rise in his anxiety. Suddenly, the four heard the familiar click of hills on the walkway heading towards them. "Oi! They're coming!" he shouted once more as the agents scrambled to their seats trying to act nonchalant.

"Morning everyone, sorry for the wait. Hotch and I had to discuss something."

"Another case JJ? Don't we ever get a break?" Rossi asked with a grin as he looked at Aaron who was just standing beside the female agent with an unreadable expression. "Hotch?"

"Not exactly." she replied. "We need to discuss something important, here," she said as she passed out a number of folders that resembled case files. She waited in silence as the agents began opening the folders with apprehension and caution. It wasn't until Morgan spoke in a harsh tone that she noticed she was holding her breath.

"_Why_ are we looking at these AGAIN?" Morgan gritted. He had looked at the Doyle case files over and over a million times, and a million times more in his time off-duty. What could there be to discuss?

"Jay, what is going on?" quivered Garcia. She closed the file and pushed it towards the centre of the table, away from her. She couldn't do this again. She couldn't bear to relive the emotions over once more. Reid and Rossi just stared at JJ awaiting a reply.

This time, it was Agent Hotchner that spoke up, "Those are the Doyle files from 6 months ago...these files are from last week." He produced a number of other folders and passed them around to his team.

"Now what has that son of a bitch done?" Rossi jeered before he opened the file.

Reid, who had been rather quite just managed to squeak out something as he quickly read through the file faster than the others. "He's..._**dead**_?" He was directing his question to both JJ and Hotch as all the others quickly ripped open their identical files to see for their own eyes what he said was true.

"One week ago, in a warehouse in Paris, Doyle and some other arms dealers were making a transfer. CIA got word of the deal from an informant and both the informant and 50 other ops members went in and took them all out," Hotch stated as JJ clicked the media screen to reveal a warehouse that was engulfed in flames. "However, it was the informant who was the one who personally took care of Doyle." Aaron finished speaking and let the others sitting before him take in the information before he went to speak once more.

"An informant? How could a regular citizen go and work with a group of CIA's? Let alone take out Doyle? Is this some sort of real life superman?" Derek was completely blindsided as the words sunk in. Who could have possibly have had the connections and resources and strength to take out that mad man? He had already seen an incredible agent and friend lose at the hands of the maniac.

"The informant...was her," JJ hesitated momentarily before switching to another picture, revealing a brunette woman walking towards an ambulance with blood and cuts along her face and body. Her hair was shorter and she was skinnier, but even with the dried blood on her face, the team knew it was their Emily Prentiss.

"Wh-what?" Garcia was shaking, "She's _**alive?**_"

Hotch winced and briefly closed his eyes, "Yes, she's alive. She was the informant and she is the one who took care of Doyle." He looked around at the faces of his team. Shock was the obvious emotion that played across their faces as he waited patiently for someone, anyone to say something.

"Wow," Rossi exhaled in disbelief. In all his years in the bureau, nothing like this had ever come close to happening.

"WOW? Is that all you can say?" accused Morgan who had risen from his seat in a mixture of shock and anger. "And I suppose the two of you knew the whole time? While the rest of us got to grieve and question what we could have done differently the past 6 months, you got to go on knowing that she was alive? What's up with that man?" Derek was spitting in a rage directed at his boss and friend. How could they have kept that from them? She had been his partner. He was the one who had held on to her hand and told her to just hang on, just squeeze his hand and not let go.

"Morgan, I know this is extremely difficult, but we had to keep her safe." Hotch explained as Morgan threw his hands up in the air and rested them atop his head. If he kept them on his head, he knew he would be less tempted to do something he'd regret to his boss.

Reid was once again sitting quietly as he mumbled, "But we buried her..." as Garcia was still shaking in an uncontrollable fit. As if she had flipped a switch, she suddenly stopped shaking and turned to Hotch and JJ.

"Wait. If she's alive, where is she _now_?" Garcia had to know her girl was safe now that she was indeed alive. The picture showed visible injuries, and she could only hope Emily wasn't in some foreign hospital hanging on for dear life. Suddenly, the sound of heels sounded once again on the catwalk heading towards the team in the conference room. As the familiar figure of Emily Prentiss apprehensively entered into the doorway before her team, JJ couldn't help but smile at seeing the team, the whole team, together once more.

"She's here," JJ smiled even wider as the team all turned their heads to acknowledge the figure that had entered.

Derek lowered his hands, forgetting his anger as his eyes fell upon the woman before him. "Oh my god."

"This isn't possible" sighed Reid as his mouth dropped.

Rossi smiled as he chuckled, "Unbelievable.."

"Oh, my baby-" Garcia managed just as her eyes began to tear up.

She couldn't believe the moment had come. They all looked the same, but so much had changed in them at the same time. Glancing around at them all, to see JJ and even Hotch smiling and the others with their jaws hung in disbelief and tears in their eyes she was trying to think of an appropriate thing to say. To somehow sum up the last six months and now open her mouth to say her first words back as Emily Prentiss.

"Hi guys..."

**Wow, everyone's reviews have been so nice! Thanks to everyone who has read the story and even subscribed for alerts! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even if it was a little long. I'll try and make them a little shorter the next time I'm able to update. If I didn't get the character's personalities right, I apologize..it's harder than I thought to write their traits. Next chapter will just be a continuation of this one!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry I haven't been able to update! Things have just been so super busy :( How awesome is the new season of CM? I guess this story is now AU, but I hope you guys still enjoy it. **

_"Yes, I understand. We'll be there as well as Ms. Prentiss. Thank you Sir, see you then." JJ hung up the phone and sighed. This was going to be extremely difficult. As she made her way out of her office and into the bullpen, JJ thought over her phone conversation as she passed by Morgan and Reid who were deep in thought at their respective desks. Stepping onto the catwalk, JJ quickly knocked on Hotch's door and entered as she heard his gruff answer._

_"Hey Hotch, sorry to bother you. I just got a phone call from a representative from the Senate committee. We have a bit of a problem."_

_"No, JJ it's fine." Hotch replied as he looked up from his desk that was covered with some files from cases that he needed to fill out. "What's wrong?" He asked with a look of concern._

_"Apparently, the Bureau had filled out some paperwork in the wake of Emily returning, Well, the Senate has now intervened and we are being requested at a formal meeting in front of the committee to decide whether they will allow for her to return." JJ waited for Hotch to process the information. His brow furrowed as he spoke:_

_"When you say 'we'...you mean?-"_

_"The entire team Hotch. They are requiring us all to give statements about her and answer questions on the whole Doyle situation."_

_"I see. Have you told Emily about this?" Hotch asked._

_"I'm going to call her, but I wanted to let you know. What do you think we should do? I know we're letting the team know in a few days, but can we honestly expect them to give formal statements on her behalf?" JJ was becoming increasingly worried. Hotch and herself had known Emily was alive the entire time and giving their statements would be simple having known the truth; but the others? how willing would they be to protect the woman who had deceived them?_

_"JJ," he started, "call Emily. Tell her to come in tomorrow. We'll tell the team, and let them know about the meeting. That gives them two days to prepare. After that, we can only hope for the best."_

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><p>"Emily Prentiss, I swear to God, if you <em>EVER<em> pull a stunt like this again, I will wipe your entire existence from cyber space!" Garcia sobbed as she enveloped Emily into a death grip/hug.

"PG..." Emily took a shaky breath as she tried to fight back the tears as she hugged the blonde back with just as much desperation, "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you've all been through." she said as she pulled back to quickly look at everyone, then back to Garcia. "I thought about you all every day; remembering you guys is what got me through."

The girls hugged once more as Reid silently made his way over to the brunette with caution written across his face. Emily looked up with a hesitant glance and braced herself for a variety of responses from the young genius.

"You...you left without saying goodbye. I didn't...JJ told me... I tried to see you..." For one of the first times in his life, Dr. Reid was speechless. So many emotions were running through his brain at top speed. Emily touched his arm and looked him straight in the eye.

"Reid. You're never going to have to say goodbye to me alright? I'm not going anywhere ever again." She knew there was so much more to be said between the two of them, but for now, it was all they could muster. Turning to face Rossi, Emily smiled when she saw the big grin on his face.

"Do you know how good it is to see you kid?" he chuckled. Emily snickered in response and moved towards the older agent.

"Thank you for being so great!" It was definitley a relief to know that Rossi wasn't upset with her. He was like a father to her and the thought of dissapointing him was something that Emily couldn't handle. Taking a long and deep breath, Prentiss knew there was just one person left to face. Turning around once more, she looked unto the tortured face of her partner; the guy who had saved her life those months ago; the guy who had told her to just squeeze his hand and hold on.

"Morgan..." Emily started as Derek stayed with the same look of disbelief on his face that he had had since Hotch had revealed the big secret. "You didn't deserve this Morgan, oh God I am so sorry. I never wanted to put you through that." Emily went to hug her partner and slightly jumped when he recoiled from her touch.

"You're damn right I didn't deserve that Prentiss!" he suddenly shouted as he sprung to life. It was if her trying to touch him had woken him from his daze of shock; now he was just outright angry. "You have no idea what we went through, what _I_ went through!" Making his way to the door of the conference room, he looked back at his "team" and cut Hotch off as he was about to say something. "No Hotch! Don't try and calm me down alright? Both you and JJ knew this whole time and lied straight to my face! And now she has the audacity to come back here after all those months and expect me to go back to normal? It doesn't work like that!" He was now spitting as he yelled and turned to face Garica. "Garcia, how can you forget all the hours you spent looking at her picture in the hall?" Penelope began to tear up once again, this time out of sadness.

"Morgan, please.." Emily began.

"No, Emily. **NO!** I trusted you with my life, and you couldn't return the favour. Simple as that!" With one last meancing glare at Emily as he told her that with as much hostility as he could, Derek stormed out of the room and slammed the door closed with such force the windows in the room actually shook leaving the rest of team members in silence.

Emily just stared at the door. She couldn't be stunned in reality, she had expected Morgan to take the news the hardest, but the words he had shouted still rang through her ears as she closed her eyes. What had she expected? For him to run into her arms like nothing had happened? Her doubts she had had that morning about coming back were slowly coming true. Maybe JJ was wrong; things would never be okay.

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><p><strong>I know this chapter was a lot shorter than my first two, but I think it's the natural place to stop for a chapter :) Hope you all enjoyed reading, and I will definitley try to post sooner! Thanks for all the reviews and subscriptions-it means so much!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, here's the next chapter! I hope I did the characters justice. I love the latest episode of CM...I may have used a couple lines here and there :) Once again, I don't own anything. Happy reading!**

* * *

><p>"Here, thought you could use some coffee" JJ smiled shyly as she placed a mug next to her friend at the conference table. She took the seat next to Emily and tried to catch her eye. "Hey, don't worry about Morgan, he'll come around; Rossi went to go talk to him.<p>

"JJ, that's not the point," Emily sighed as she took a sip of her coffee, "Morgan has every right to be upset. I'm just really regretting this decision...wondering where to go from here."

"Emily. Listen to me." JJ shifted her chair so that she was facing her directly, "you are one of my best friends and a key part of this team. Don't ever think otherwise alright? This team needs you, all of us need you; it's just going to take some time for them all to remember that." She patted Emily's knee and turned back to her coffee.

"JJ-" Emily started.

"We're going to be there for you at the meeting with the board, just have a little faith."

* * *

><p>After leaving the conference room after being dismissed, Garcia and Reid had decided to go back to her office giving the other two ladies a moment. Hotch had briefly mentioned that the team needed to be ready for a board meeting the next day and prepare a statement in lieu of Prentiss' return before he excused himself to his own office.<p>

"Did you know that the FBI has only ever faked an agent's death10 times in the history of the Bureau? That's like once every 10 years!" The slim super genius was quickly computing the numbers in his brain, combined with his memory of facts about the Bureau.

"Reid, my lovely genius, can you please stop talking about it?" Penelope was sitting in her lair in front of her numerous computers trying to overlook some emails and files while Dr. Reid was leaning on the desk behind her.

"Garcia? How can I not talk about it? We just witnessed a miracle! By the way, don't bother reading that long email, it's just a procedural reminder from Strauss."

"God, I hate your fast reading abilities! And stop reading over my shoulder!" she demanded playfully. Honestly, she wasn't really focusing too much on the work before her, she was worried about Derek and how he had reacted. She knew he had blamed himself when he was unable to save Emily, as much as he tried to prenend to everyone else that he had come to terms with it all; but she could see it in his eyes those months ago that he wasn't making progress in therapy. One night he had showed up at her apartment unannounced with bloody knuckles: he had gotten into an altercation with another bar patron and lost his cool...his temper had been sensitive ever since they had lost Emily. "Do you think Derek's okay?" she asked the young man.

"Personally, I'm thrilled she's alive, but I'm still angry about Hotch and JJ lying. If I'm angry, I can't imagine what Morgan's feeling. Have you thought about what you're going to say at the meeting tomorrow?" he replied.

"Oh there's no question in my crazy pretty mind that I want Emily back! I'm never letting her leave us every again!" Garcia smiled broadly and then diverted her gaze towards her door as she saw someone approach from behind Spencer.

"Hey guys. Spence, can we talk? Garcia, do you mind if I borrow him from you for a bit?" JJ asked as she tentatively entered the technical analysis's office.

"Borrow away my dear, but I do require a full return by the end of the day!"

Reid nodded while he straightened up from leaning against the desk. "Oh Garcia?" he called as he walked out of the room, "that file is just another procedural, go ahead and skip it!"

"REID!" Penelope shouted after him trying to contain her laugh. She was about to turn back towards her screens when she noticed that the blonde was still in her office. "Jay? Did you need something else?" There couldn't be another case already could there?

"I just.."JJ didn't exactly know what to say. She was entering this conversation on a whim. "Garcia, I know-I know that you're happy that Emily is back, but I just wanted to know, well I just wanted to make sure that you and I...are we? I mean, I hope your not mad at me. I'm so sorry about lying to you." JJ quickly looked down at her feet as she whispered her last sentence. She didn't want to see disappointment in her friend's eye knowing that she was part of the cause. However, she was shocked and slightly tensed when she felt warm arms around her the next second.

"Girlie, I accept your apology without hesitation. You should know I could never stay mad at you. I know why you did it, and I know if I had been in your position, I would have done anything to keep any one of you babies safe." She meant every word and she felt JJ hug her back tightly. After a few moments the women pulled apart and laughed as they looked at each other with tear stained faces.

Agent Jareau cleared her throat, "I have to go find Spence...talk to you later?"

"You know where to find me sugarplum!"

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><p><em>Hmph,<em>_pant,__hmph..._He couldn't remember the last time he had ran this fast before. It was probably just after Emily had..no. "_Keep__running_" thought Morgan silently as the sweat ran down the side of his face. Running was what he had found to help control his temper after that one bad bar incident; ever since then, he had been running at least once a day for a few hours.

He knew he shouldn't have lashed out at Emily like he had, or Hotch for that matter, but all those months of rage had just come to the surface in a second. How had the expected him to react? After storming out of the conference room, Morgan left the bullpen and headed straight to the Bureau's gym. There had been a few people there when he had started, but he was now coming up on his 10th kilometer and everyone else had left.

Being so engrossed in his own thoughts and the sounds of his feet hitting the treadmill, Derek didn't notice the older italian agent enter the facility and come up behind him. Rossi had taken it upon himself to check on Derek after the outburst that morning.

"You know, you could probably take it down a notch. There's enough sweat to fill a pool" Rossi smirked as Morgan faltered in stride in surprise. How the heck did the guy move as quietly as a mouse?

"Jesus! Rossi! You nearly made me fall on my face!" Morgan slowed down the treadmill's speed to a steady jogging pace as he regained composure. He figured it was only a matter of time before one the team came to talk to him. "So what? You picked the short straw?"

"Hardly." Rossi took off his suit jacket and sat down on one of the weight benches adjacent to the treadmill Morgan was jogging on. "Besides, I don't ever have to pick a straw, I get to pull the seniority card." Agent Rossi smiled as he tried to get Morgan to talk. "Look kid, I get it, I really do. You're angry with Hotch for not telling the team. You're angry with JJ for being the one that Hotch trusted with the secret; and you're angry with emily because you had just started coming to terms with the idea that you had to let go." Somehow, Dave Rossi was always able to read the minds of his team members, but perhaps it was just what came with the job after working for 30 years. Patiently, Rossi waited to Morgan to reply as the exhausted agent stopped the treadmill and walked over to another weight bench and began lifting the heaviest ones he could find. "So you're just going to bottle it all up huh? Wait until some night at a bar to let it all out?"

Derek stopped abruptly and dropped the weight looking up at his friend. "How did you know-"

"Word travels fast around these parts of town young gun." Rossi picked up his jacket again and walked towards him with his hands in his pocket. "I just wanted to check on you. After the way you left, you had everyone worried."

"I know, I know. I'm planning on talking to Hotch in a bit"

"And Emily?"

Morgan sighed as he shut his eyes and paused for a moment before opening them again.

"Rossi. How am I supposed to talk to her when I can't look at her without thinking she's going to slip away? Every time I look at her, I'm reminded of the warehouse in Boston, kneeling on the cement holding her hand, and just praying so hard that she will just keep squeezing my hand; that way I know she can't die. How can I forget all that? How do I come to terms with the fact that the woman who was my partner for years and trusted with my life, I may not know the real her."

It was Dave's turn to sigh as he registered everything Morgan was telling him. He placed a hand on the young agent's shoulder and he pondered over just what to say.

"Kid, she's not going anywhere. She's here and alive, and that's all you've wanted for the past 7 months so don't waste time over something that you can't change. The Emily you know, the one we all know-she's still the same person. There's a meeting tomorrow with the board. We're all supposed to be there and give a statement." Derek simply nodded as he watched Dave walk towards the door, and then turn around once again,

"We don't all get second chances Derek. I'm not going to tell you to come tomorrow, but don't overlook it. You might not want to admit it right now, but this whole thing was the only way to keep her safe. At the end of the day, you would do anything to protect her." He gave one last glance and walked out leaving Morgan standing in the middle of the gym all alone.

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><p><strong>There we go, another chapter down! I'<strong>**m thinking there's probably about 3 chapters left? Thanks to all those who have favourited or subscribed to this story :) Please leave a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! So sorry about the time delay for updates on this story…hopefully with school done for the holidays and I get this one finished up and perhaps get a couple of oneshots posted as well :) Enjoy!**

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><p>"Ladies and Gentlemen of the board, case number A7R248 to be reviewed on this date regarding the reinstatement of Ms. Emily Prentiss to the Behaviour Analysis Unit of the FBI in the head office in Quantico, Virginia; you may be seated."<p>

The board room was filled with approximately 15 people including security detail as Rossi, Reid, JJ, Garcia, Emily, and Hotch finally took their seats in a row facing the front of the room. In front of them was a panel of 7 men and women silently flipping through the manila folders placed before them and one by one the finished looking over the papers and waited for the head Councilman Ford to proceed.

"Ms. Prentiss, in all my years in the Bureau, I have had very few cases regarding reinstatements..especially when said former agent was supposedly dead. I see here your former team has had no problem continuing on with their work in your absence-"

"That's not true!...*ahem..Sir" squeaked Garcia from her position further down the line from Emily.

"Ms. Garcia? Is there something you'd like to add?"

"I...no Sir, it's just...well," Garcia was definitely not used to being in formal attire and in being in front of a crowd, "we did miss her. She's an important member of this team."

"The Bureau does not go about reinstating people simply because they are missed. Now, as I was saying: Ms. Prentiss, 7 months ago, you knowingly had valuable information from a previous undercover assignment on international arms dealer Ian Doyle that was pertinent to a federal investigation at the time, yet remained silent, thereby endangering the Bureau, yourself and the agents of the investigation. Is this correct?"

Emily looked back at the man directly in front of her with her stoic "Prentiss" expression that in her mind, was the only real valuable thing she had inherited from her mother.

"Yes Sir." She stated simply.

"You then proceeded to singlehandedly take on Doyle in Boston causing your team to launch another investigation to locate you and brought in an outside employee of the Pentagon to use at their discretion."

"Councilman Ford, I knowingly and willingly travelled to FBI headquarters to offer my services to the BAU. No pending investigations at the Pentagon were taking place and I was fully cleared to aid them to my best ability." JJ spoke up.

Ford leaned forward in his chair "Yes, Ms. Jareau; however, the FBI cannot be borrowing members of the Pentagon for any reason. Leaving your post was highly unnecessary and unprofessional."

JJ looked back at the councilman in shock. In her mind, it wouldn't have mattered to her if there had been a hundred pending cases at the Pentagon; when she had gotten the call from Hotch about Emily, she didn't have to think about it for more than a second. Seeing his fellow agent quickly becoming aggravated, Aaron Hotchner chose that moment to interject and address the full board.

"Council members, Board. As Unit Chief of this team, I take full responsibility for the decisions made. I called upon Agent Jareau as she had a knowledge base of terrorism and could also shed light on Ms. Prentiss' past. It was necessary to have her working with the BAU during that period."

The entire board paused in thinking. Agent Hotchner was well known throughout many levels of the Bureau, after all, he had a reputation that was extremely notable.

"Agent Hotchner, it is commendable of you to do so, however your team's actions are not the sole purpose of this meeting. Now, as I am aware, Agent Seaver has transferred to Agent Swan's unit therefore her statement is not necessary. The board will be asking the 6 current members of this team to give official statements in regards to Ms. Prentiss' reinstatement which will be taken into consideration."

One of the women at the end of the desk turned her head in curiosity, "Councilmen, there are only 5 agents in attendance at the moment..."

Though they all knew Morgan had not shown up, all the members of the BAU flinched at the outspoken truth of the matter. Derek hadn't shown up. Garcia just looked down at her shoes as Rossi shook his head; Prentiss on the other hand, did not change her expression. As much as she wanted to believe that Morgan would have show up, she knew it was a long shot.

"Agent Morgan is not present I see. Very well, we will continue accordingly. Agents, if you'll please exit the room, we will start with Agent Rossi."

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><p>"Don't worry gumdrop, my spidey sense is tingling and it's telling me you're going to be reinstated." Garcia smirked as she jokingly punched Emily on the arm. The team had all finished giving their statements, and it was no surprise that they had all voted in favour of having her return. Now they were just waiting outside the board room as the council finished deliberating.<p>

"Haha, thanks PG. I hope your right!" she then turned to face the rest of the team, "Guys, I just want to say I'm really grateful for how understanding you've been. It's going to take time, but if you'll let me, I promise I'll work to making it up to all of you." Emily meant every word. She realized in her 7 months away that if she did ever come back, she would owe them all her life. They had all fought so hard in trying to rescue her, to show her how much they cared, especially Morgan. _Oh Morgan_. Emily's expression changed all of a sudden to sadness that only Hotch managed to detect. Suddenly the wooden door behind them swung open as a young man called them back in. They all paused before entering until Rossi finally made the first move.

"Alright, let's get this over with. I'm not getting any younger here."

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><p>"Final deliberation has concluded with a decision being met so stated for record. Agent Hotchner, it is adamantly clear to this board that you have a dedicated team in your arsenal. One that is efficient and good at what they do. What is also clear is the fact that you have all expressed your desire to have Ms. Prentiss return to the BAU immediately, however, Ms. Prentiss, the Bureau will not support an agent who is willing to put others in harms way. The board has concluded that reinstatement will be-"<p>

"**BOOM**!" Just as Councilman Ford was about to finish, the door at the end of the board room burst open revealing Derek Morgan in a charcoaled suit striding up the aisle with a lanky young man in security uniform desperately trying to catch up.

"What in the hell is this? Security!" yelled Ford as Morgan stopped just behind his team seated in a row who were all looking at him in shock. The young man in uniform muttered a sorry and reached out to grab the intruder by the arm. Derek easily yanked his arm out of the reach of the weaker man and turned to face the council.

"Agent Derek Morgan your honour. I'm sorry for the intrusion." Derek wet his lips and fixed his suit as Ford looked on bewildered.

"Agent Morgan, this is highly unacceptable, this session is in conclusion and I will have to ask you to leave immed-"

"Sir, if I could just say something?" Derek looked up pleadingly. When no one said anything, he continued, not caring that Hotch was giving him the hardest glare he had ever seen. _He had to do this_.

"Council members, a few days ago I found out someone whom I believed to be gone was in fact alive. Someone that I have spent the last 3 years working alongside and trusting with my life." Derek paused but kept his expression on the council members. He knew Hotch was going to have his head for this later and he didn't dare look at Emily. "In my years at the BAU, I have worked with many people, but none so determined at this job than Agent Prentiss. She does her work with an intensity that goes beyond the call of duty; she is able to sympathize, yet also compartmentalize better than any agent in the Bureau which a testament to her abilities in our grim line of work. She took out an international arms dealer that posed a threat to the country."

"Agent Morgan, regardless of Ms. Prentiss' work ethic, her actions in recent light have left many to question her judg-"

"Her judgment, councillor, caused her to embark in actions that anyone would have if faced with the same situation. Let it be on record that if it was I in her position seven months ago, there is nothing I wouldn't have done to protect these people. Emily Prentiss is an integral part of this team. These past 7 months we have managed to get by, yes, but we are at our strongest when we work together. It is in the Bureaus and country's best interest that Agent Prentiss be reinstated."

The room sat silent for what felt like minutes. Both Garcia and JJ had huge smiles plastered on their faces while Emily just stared in bewilderment. Finally, Ford spoke,

"Agent Morgan, the sentiment is appreciated, however as I was about to announce before you intruded, the Council has decided that reinstatement will be granted for Agent Prentiss with the condition of being watched by the Bureau." Ford then turned to look at Emily as she smiled. "Agent Prentiss, you are hereby **reinstated** into your former position at the BAU, I suggest your proceed with caution in these next few months."

Derek took a shaky breath as he gave a curt nod towards the council and turned on his heel towards the wooden doors.

"Thank you sir, council!" Emily managed to squeak out as she felt both JJ and Garcia bombard her with hugs and tears. She got up from her seat and turned to try and stop Morgan before he could leave. She needed to let him know that what he had said meant a lot to her. "Morgan, wait!" she called, but he was already too far gone.

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><p><strong>There we go! I say probably only 1 chapter left unfortunately…maybe 2 short ones. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and thanks for reading and subscribing! You are all so awesome. Please leave a review, they make my day!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**OH MY GOODNESS! It has been almost 9 months since I've updated this story and I want to apologize to everyone for the horrendous wait. I just lost my muse for this story but I managed to finish it up. I hope it's not too disappointing to everyone...I admit I did rush it :( Again, so sorry about the wait, but please read and enjoy! Also, just a word about the charcters: I do realize that they are quite non canon/OOC, but that's where they went haha.**

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><p>"Thanks for the ride Hotch. I just haven't had time to get a car since I've been back."After the excitement of her reinstatement had died down outside the courthouse, everyone had agreed on meeting up later for a celebratory dinner and Hotch, being the gentleman, offered his agent a ride back to her place.<p>

"Hotch, you really didn't have to walk me up here. Jack's probably dying to see you." Emily briskly entered her apartment leaving the door open for her boss to follow her in as she went to disarm the alarm. Even though Doyle was gone, she had made sure the alarm was up and running and soon as she moved into her new home.

"It's fine; you did the same thing for me during my time after Foyet. Besides I told Jack that I'd pick him up later for the dinner tonight. He's really excited to see you." Hotch followed Emily into her kitchen as she got out two mugs and started brewing some coffee.

"Aw, well I'm excited to see Jack! How is he doing? I mean, did you ever tell him about..." Emily trailed off. Before the whole Doyle incident she had spent time with Jack, picking him up from school if Hotch had a meeting, and just getting the know the boy. She knew it must have hurt for the little boy to have another woman he trusted suddenly gone from his life.

"He's doing well. I told him that his Aunt Emily had to go away for some time. But I couldn't let him think that there was no chance that you wouldn't come back some day, so I told him that eventually you would, but we just didn't know when. And I told him to not bring you up in front of the team, that it would just make them sad." Hotch stared into the brunette's eyes as he reached out for the cup of coffee.

"Oh, well that was probably the best idea. I hope he never thought that I was leaving him." Hotch could tell that she was having a hard time talking about this.

"He missed you Emily, both of us. We all did." If there was ever a time that Aaron Hotchner had showed his emotions, it was in this moment. He hadn't had a chance to talk to her one on one since she had been back and he had stepped back in order to let her clear up everything with everyone else on the team, but now it was just the two of them and he needed to know for sure that she was okay, that there was a chance that the Emily Prentiss he had once known was somewhere inside her.

"I'm glad to see that you've been getting settled...and I'm really glad that things worked out today." Turning back to face him, she crossed her arms and took a heavy sigh.

"Emily..." Hotch whispered startling the woman who was not expecting him to use her given name. Pausing a moment before he continued, the normal SSA Hotchner stoic glance softened tremendously as he folded his hands together taking a seat across from where his subordinate was.

"I hope you know that the the team meant everything that they said at the hearing today. We all want you by our side, fighting with us." He watched her cautiously as bit her bottom lip in contemplation.

"Thank you, really. It means a lot...but-"

"But, you're still worried that it was just empty words. That perhaps someone on the team only showed up because he felt he had to." Hotch calmly finished her sentence as if reading her mind.

Emily grabbed two coffee mugs out of her cabinets as she scoffed, "Profiling me Agent Hotchner?" she gave a light laugh as she filled the cups and slid one towards him.

"No," he said quietly catching her eye, "I just know you that well."

They stared at each other in silence for a few moments until Aaron broke the gaze and took a sip of the coffee. Mulling over what the man before her had just said, Emily decided to take the plunge:

"What if you don't know me at all?" she whispered and quickly averted her gaze before she could see his chocolate brown eyes meet hers. When he didn't say anything and simply wore a quizzical look, she continued.

"Hotch, I've done...a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of. Things that I did just to do a job. I spent a long time being someone who I thought was someone completely different that who am I am, but after a while I think I became who I was pretending to be. When I showed up at the BAU, it was like I was starting fresh, but I still hid that part of my life from you guys, even after all those years. How can I go back to who I was...when I don't even know who that is?"

"Prentiss, the time that you spent with Doyle changed you, and there's nothing that anyone can do about that. You may think that you became Lauren Reynolds, but I think the very fact that you knew when to get out, when Declan's life came into the equation, shows that you remained who you really are. We all have things that we've done that we're not proud of, but unfortunately we can't change the past we just have to learn to live with it."

Silently nodding, Emily licked her lip and wrapped her hands around her cup.

"You may think we don't know you, but we do. You're the person who's picture hung outside the BAU for 7 months, the picture that Garcia would stop at stare at every morning that you were gone until someone came to move her. The person who Reid trusted with his headaches when he was afraid of what they could mean. You're the daughter that Dave felt like he had lost, and the secret that JJ and myself kept from everyone else hoping that one day we could bring you back."

"Thank you Hotch." she sniffled as a tear ran down her cheek. She owed her life to this man and the team; she realized that although the burden that the others had felt knowing she was dead was excruciating, but the guilt and burden that he and JJ had to endure keeping her a secret was more than could ever be repaid.

Getting up to leave, Hotch suddenly placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her into a hug. After the initial shock of her unit chief embracing her, she found her self relaxing in his arms and feeling the safest she had felt in a long time. After assuring him that she would meet them all at the restaurant in an hour or so, Aaron opened the front door and turned back to face her.

"I'm glad to have you back Emily. I missed you."

"Me too, Hotch."

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><p>45 minutes later, Emily had just finished applying some makeup and slipping into a knee length dress when she heard her doorbell ring.<p>

"Jesus Hotch, I told you I could just take a ca-" she stopped abruptly when she saw who was at her door.

"Hey Emily." Before her stood Derek Morgan in a dark sports coat and dress shirt wearing an unreadable expression upon his face.

"Morgan? Hi...um, what are you doing here?" she opened the door a little wider gesturing the invitation for him to come in which he did.

"Well I'm really here to take you the restaurant since you seem to be without an adequate ride...but I needed to apologize to you about how I've acted.

"Morgan, JJ told me what you went through when I was gone, and the fact that you showed up today at the hearing meant a lot. I know you were just saying those things to help me back onto the team, but I want you to know that I am so sorry about everything. I never ever meant to hurt you. You were my partner and my friend and I couldn't give you the same trust that you gave me...so you don't need to apologize.

"Emily, I thought you were dead. Naturally I'm going to be hurt that they lied, but you're here; I think that's nothing short of a miracle. I meant what I said that night in the warehouse: I am proud of you. You saved Declan from an unimaginable life and you are my friend and partner. I spent everyday that you were gone trying to figure out a way to hunt down Doyle and make him pay for what he did to you. That's how much I care about you. I also meant what I said today at the hearing. We learned how to cope without you on the team, but that doesn't mean we don't need you. We do...I do."

Wrapping the brunette into a tight hug, Derek kissed the top of her head as he rubbed her back as tears began to slip down both of their faces.

"I'm so sorry Derek" she cried into his shirt.

"I know Princess, I know."

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><p>"Morgan, I cannot believe that you just busted into the hearing today! What were you thinking?" JJ guffed in disbelief. Everyone had showed up at the restaurant, family included to share in the happy occasion. Now that dinner was over, small talk was beginning to take place with Morgan's antics being the hot topic of the evening.<p>

"Aw, Jay, don't be so hard on him! He meant well." Emily gleamed from across the table in defense of her partner.

"Yes, Morgan, as admirable as your actions, remind me to have a 'chat' with you later?" Hotch sounded from the other end.

"OOOOooo is Uncle Derek in trouble Daddy?" Jack asked as he bounded into his father's lap causing his Aaron to smile and wince from the sudden weight.

"Don't worry junior G-man, Uncle Derek's file is clean as a whistle" Penelope giggled as she scooped up her godson Henry in her arms.

"Another 'thing' Garcia?" Hotch jokingly glared.

"Perhaps, Sir" she sheepishly replied.

"Wow, I don't know about you guys, but that was such an amazing meal! Honestly Dave, how'd you find out about this place?" Emily asked.

"Bellissima!" shouted Henry shocking everyone at the table.

"Hey! Not bad kiddo! Will, are you teaching him Italian?" Rossi questioned with an impressed look in his eye.

Laughing, JJ shared a look with her boyfriend before answering, "No, sorry to disappoint...he just got that line from that Pixar movie 'Cars 2'"

"Hmm...never heard of it"

A calming silence passed over everyone, even the kids until Reid spoke up.

"Emily, are you ok?"

"Oh em gee gumdrop, are you ok?"

Glancing around to her friends and the people she cared about most, Emily raised her glass and cleared her throat.

"Um, I just wanted to say to you all that I owe you my life. You all mean the world to me, and not a day will go by that I won't think about what you did for me. I love you guys and I can't wait to get back to work on Monday." Although she knew that the days and perhaps weeks ahead would be rough, she knew who she was and that she had the support of those around her to make it through. She wouldn't be alone.

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><p><strong>DONE! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourited, tagged myself or this story! It means a lot to me. I truly respect all the writers on here because this writing FF is NOT easy! That being said, I love hearing back from you guys so please leave a review :D Thanks again everyone!<strong>


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